You are the smartest you know. How do I know this? If you are reading this you have kept yourself fed, clothed and sheltered for your entire life. You. No matter what your judgment is of your circumstances, you are doing it.

"Ask yourself the secret of YOUR success. Listen to your answer, and practice it." ~ Richard Bach

Judgment is not fact. Fact - you are alive. Fact - you have all you NEED right now. Fact - you are breathing. Fact - you can read. Fact - you are interested in others. Fact - you are open minded.

Things can get confusing with training dogs, horses, people. I know, many don't like the idea of "training" others and without judgment we "teach" each other how to treat us, and that can easily be replaced with "training". We weight train, on the job train, train for athletics and train for competitions. Why is it thought that "training" each other how to treat us is negative? So, suspend your judgment and think about this, by re-acting to those situations we do not like we support them and reinforce the training. Who's training who?

In horse training (or horsemanship) if a every time a horse paws while tied and its person runs to it (thinking the horse is nervous) that person strokes it, speaks soothingly and tries to comfort the horse, that horse will know the routine. Paw and get attention. The horse's message is clear, "Hey you! Come here!"Who trained who?

When your husband/wife is freaking out because they are late do you go to his/her rescue? How do you feel afterward? Is the next thought, "Why does he/she make me ____?" or "I hate it that he/she creates such drama around ____."

Next time, I invite you to ignore the behavior. Choose something different. It doesn't have to be perfect, just different. The originator of the chaos taught you how to respond to that drama and you created a role to play. Now, you respond as if on cue. Change the role, create one of steadfast calm. Or just something different, without judging the out come. Stay in the moment, maintain calm and do the simplest thing... nothing.

We teach our selves how to respond as well. What do you think when you pay a bill? To you pay it and then have fear that sending money is lessening your assets and soon you'll be poor. So is that the role you've taught yourself? What other fears have you taught yourself to respond to internally? Better put your seat belt on so we don't have an accident. Be careful so you don't get hurt. Don't go, do, behave in any way that you might get hurt or... Trained thought patterns. Over and over these thoughts generate fear.

How about this? "I am grateful I can pay this bill. I can keep myself safe by using my seat belt." By changing these thoughts we change thought processes, mental pathways. A friend of mine who did her thesis on group dynamics and behaviors told me, 'A habit is like water running down a mountain. After awhile there is a deep rut, or even a cavern, that can take practice to divert that same waterway.'

Can we retrain ourselves? That is the real question. I began this blog with the statement, 'you are the smartest person you know'. Why? Because YOU kept yourself alive. No one else. Your only job was to keep your body at 98.7 and alive. Today, you have accomplished both of those tasks. If you have a fever today, I'm sorry, AND 1 our of 2 isn't bad.

For today, question your thoughts. Suspend judgment and see the facts first. Save your "story" for another day. Today, just see things as they are, not as you judge them. You will be better able to respond instead of reacting.

*Blog thoughts inspired by "What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage", by Amy Sutherland

Tami Gramont

Orginally posted NewHorsePhotography